Our reading is Genesis 27:25-34. In the perfect family, we love all our children equally and encourage them to explore their individuality. That is not happening in this story. The text says it clearly, the twins are not loved equally by their parents. The twin’s mother, Rebecca, loved Jacob more. The twin’s father, Isaac, loved Esau more. The parent’s unequal love for their sons divided the family. It is my experience that family problems don’t disappear with time; they intensify with time. That is what happened to Isaac’s family problems. In our reading, Issac is near the end of his life and both of his sons long to receive his blessing.
What was the blessing? Usually passed from the father to the eldest son, the blessing was a formal passing of the mantle. With the blessing came with both authority and resources. First, the one receiving the blessing assumed family leadership and responsibility. Second, with the extra responsibilities came a double share of his father’s inheritance. In our reading, Esau had the inside track for the blessing – he was the oldest son and his father’s favorite. However, in the end, Jacob deceived his father and cheated his brother. Jacob walked away with both authority and the resources. This entire story underscores the fact that Isaac had a dysfunctional family. In this blog, I don’t want to look at dysfunctional families. Instead, I want to encourage healthy families.
In 1986, Gary Smalley (1940-2016) and John Trent (born 1952) released a book called The Blessing. In that book, they argued there are four ingredients needed in every home. If these four ingredients are present, then families have better chance of reaching their full potential. When they are absent, the opposite is true. Each
of these ingredients is present in our reading.
The first ingredient is meaningful touch. Think about holding hands with the person you love the most. In verse 22, prior to our reading, it says Jacob went to his father. In verse 26 it says, “Then his father Isaac said to him, ‘Come here, my son, and kiss me.’” This is not an isolated case. When we lay hands on someone, when we kiss someone, when we embrace someone, we communicate that they are loved and accepted. In the tenth chapter of Mark, mothers brought their children to Jesus so he could bless them and touch them. Jacob received the blessing when he was forty years old. He wasn’t too old to be touched by his father. Your adult children still need to be loved and affirmed through touch.
The second ingredient is the spoken word. In the story touch is backed up with words. Verse 27 says, “So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, ‘Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field.’” That was Issac’s way of expressing his love. My father never told me he loved me or that he was proud of me. Those absent words left a hole in my soul. It is too late for my father, but it is not too late for you. Tell your children, regardless of their age, how much you care for them.
The third ingredient is high value. Verse 28 says, “May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine.” What does that verse mean? Isaac is saying to his son, “You are special!” In the Old Testament you didn’t receive your blessing in heaven, you received your blessing in this world. The more you had, the greater the blessings. Isaac said to his son, “May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s riches.” That is how he communicates his son’s high value. How do you communicate high value to your children?
The fourth and final ingredient is a glorious future. Verse 29 says, “May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed
and those who bless you be blessed.” Isaac is saying to his son, “Your future is bright!” Let me end with a story that draws those four ingredients together.
When I was a student at Asbury Seminary, I served a small membership church. One of my parishioners was a woman named Norma. Her most outstanding characteristic was her caring heart, and she treated me like a son.
One day, I was completely overwhelmed by life. There was sickness at home, and I was struggling financially. Besides my church I worked part-time on a tobacco farm. Despite my labor, I was penniless, facing a mountain of debt due to my student loans. With little time left to study I had fallen behind in my schoolwork. Completely defeated, I decided to drop out of school as I drove home. There was a sense of relief just thinking about leaving school. I needed to talk and found myself driving to Norma’s house.
When I pulled in her driveway, I saw her looking out the window. When I walked into her house, she said, “Russ, what are you doing here? Don’t you have things to do?” When she looked at my face she asked, “What’s wrong? Get a cup of coffee and sit.” Wasting no time, she got right to the point she asked me again, “What’s wrong?” Emotionally, I choked the words out, “I am going to quit school, move back to Ohio and get a real job.” Norma didn’t say a word. Instead, she made me a sandwich. I told her about school, my debt and my home life, I told her everything. When I had finished, Norma looked at me and said, “Can I say something?” Emotionally spent, I just looked at her. She said, “Russ, give me your hands.” I did and she said looking in my eyes, “I can’t give you any money, but I will say this. Someday, you are going to be a great man. God has given you the gifts to be a fine preacher. People are going to be blessed because of you! Don’t waste it. Go home and get some sleep. Get up tomorrow and try again.” I did what she said. I went home. I got some sleep and the next day I tried again. I don’t tell you that story because I think I am a great person. You know better. I tell you that story because Norma changed my life with her blessing! Norma gave me a meaningful touch, spoken affirmation, high value, and hope for the future at exactly the moment you needed it most. It has been said: “When someone believes in you, it alters your very chemistry.”
