Moments of Self-Doubt

Our reading is Matthew 27:20-26. Normally, we hear these words during Holy Week. However, that does not mean it doesn’t have something for us today. The scene is powerful. Jesus is on his way to the cross and is standing next to Roman Governor Pontius Pilate. The crowd must choose who they will release, the notorious rebel and murderer Barabbas, or Jesus. The crowd chooses Barabbas. Think about that scene for a moment. Jesus and Pilate made a strange pair. Pilate has everything this world has to offer – fame, power, and influence. Jesus has nothing this world has to offer. However, the man with nothing is filled with self-confidence. The man with everything is rattled with self-doubt. What does Jesus have that Pilate lacked?

In this blog I want to help restore your self-confidence. It is Satan who puts self-doubt into your life because he doesn’t want you to maximize your full potential. He wants you to live in a shell, afraid to come out. God, on the other hand, wants you to live up to your full potential because he wants you to have the greatest impact on your little corner of the world. As a disciple of Jesus, you are His ambassador and that changes everything. So let me ask you three questions. These questions are not original. They came from United Methodist clergyman James W. Moore (1938-20019).

First, how secure are you? Jesus was secure because Jesus knew who he was. The scriptures tell us very little about Jesus’s childhood. We are told that Jesus was born in Bethlehem and lived in Egypt for a short time as an infant. Jesus called Nazareth home, and at twelve years old, he went to the temple and amazed the elders. He stayed near his mother until he was thirty. We know very little about Jesus’ life, but I am comfortable saying Jesus knew who he was from the very beginning. Jesus knew he was the son of God. Jesus knew being the son of God brought unique opportunities, but it also brought unique challenges. Jesus was not arrogant; Jesus was secure. Jesus knew who he was. How many secure people do you know? Do you consider yourself a secure person? Do you know yourself?

In a few months I will turn sixty-nine years old. My age does not bother me, because I have had all this time to learn about myself. When I was young, I tried to act like I knew everything. The truth is, I am ignorant about many things. I know nothing about plumbing, auto repair, foreign policy, sewing, crafts, and the finer details of physics. I can’t speak a word of Portuguese. It is extremely difficult to know everything. Then, somewhere along the way I learned three little words that liberated me, “I don’t know!” It doesn’t mean I don’t know anything. It only means I don’t know about certain things. I don’t know anything about cardiology, but I know something about God, preaching, the Bible, church growth, and group dynamics. I like being my age because I have had all these years to learn about myself. I consider myself a secure person. Do you consider yourself a secure person? Jesus knew who he was. Self-confident people know themselves. How secure are you?

Second, do you know whose you are? Our reading happened over two thousand years ago, so you know how the story ends.Pilate permits Jesus to be crucified, and Jesus was buried in a cave-like tomb. Jesus spent his earthly ministry surrounded by people, but when the end came, he was alone. The crowds of Palm Sunday disappeared and, except for God, he was alone. Jesus had self-confidence because he knew he was loved by God. You can have self-confidence because you are loved by God.

One of the great preachers of yesteryear was Philip Brooks (1835-1893). He was extremely confident and optimistic. A close friend asked him what the source of his attitude about life was. He replied, “It is quite simple. I am a Christian.”  Once you discover God’s love for you, everything changes. Being a disciple of Jesus means you know you are loved by God. In the end, God will be victorious and He wants to share the spoils of that victory with you! It really doesn’t matter what the world says about you, the only thing that really matters is that God loves you! Jesus was self-confident because he knew whose he was. You can be self-confident because God loves you. You belong to God. Do you know whose you are?

Third, do you know where you are going? Jesus’s final destination is not a secret. It is found in the Apostle’s Creed: He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried; he ascended into heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. Jesus knew he was going to heaven when it was all over. All he had to do was hang on. The same is true for us – the trials and challenges of this world are temporary, all we must do is endure them. Heaven is going to last for eternity. Do you know where you are going?  

History tells us Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) was fatally shot at Washington DC’s Ford Theater on April 14, 1865. Much has been written about the shooting and the political climate of America on that day. Very little has been written about the contents found inside of the pockets of our sixteenth president. It was reported in President Lincoln’s pockets were found: 

1. A handkerchief, embroidered “A. Lincoln”  
            2. A country boy’s pen knife  
            3. A spectacles case repaired with string  
            4. A purse containing a $5 Confederate bill  
            5. Some old and worn newspaper clippings  

One of the clippings was an article written by John Bright (1811-1877). He called Lincoln, “one of the greatest minds of all times.” Today, that is common knowledge but that wasn’t the case in Lincoln’s time. In 1865, millions shared quite a contrary opinion. The President’s critics were fierce. The country was in turmoil and was ripped to shreds by hatred and a cruel, costly war. Lincoln kept Bright’s words because he couldn’t believe anyone would say he had a great mind. All these years later, we can confess Lincoln suffered from depression. He was crippled with self-doubt and haunted by a poor self-image. Do you know of anyone who is crippled with self-doubt and haunted by a poor self-image? Maybe that person is you?

I do not have an article saying you are brilliant, but if you are reading this then you have something better. You are a disciple of Jesus Christ, and that fact changes everything. Because you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, you know who you are. Discover your own strengths and weaknesses. Never be afraid to say those three liberating words, “I don’t know.” Because you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, you know whose you are. Never forget, God loves you! Because you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, you know where you are going. The challenges of this world are only temporary. Someday we are going to be in heaven together! 

Defeating Self-Doubt

Let me begin and end with stories about two bearded presidents. The twenty-third President of the United States was Benjamin Harrison (1833-1901). He was a Republican from Indiana. He served as president from 1889-1893. It was during his term the White House was wired for electricity. The White House was wired for electricity in 1891. Electricity had only been around about ten years. Many were still skeptical. Harrison was one. He must have wished it would have waited for his successor, Grover Cleveland (1837-1908). Historians tells us Harrison was intimidated by electricity. He and his wife, Caroline (1832-1892), refused to touch a single light switch. They were afraid of being electrocuted. They were so paralyzed by fear the Harrisons often slept with the lights on. If no servants were present to turn them off. I tell you that story for one reason. Our fears and self-doubts have a way of paralyzing us. It is a common fact today. That takes us to today’s scripture lesson.

We find ourselves in the seventeenth chapter of Genesis. Abram is ninety-nine-years-old. (I do not play the numbers game. If the Bible says he was ninety-nine, then he was ninety-nine.) His covenant with God was yesterday’s news. It had been twenty-four years since God made the great promise to make his descendants a great nation. There is only one problem. He still has no children with Sarai. Abram must have feared he was the reason for God’s inactivity. Abram had made many mistakes. You can find those mistakes between Genesis 12 thru 16. Yet in Genesis 17, we discover that God’s great promise had not been forgotten. To underscore this reaffirmation, God changes Abram’s name. Abram is now to be called Abraham. Abram means “exalted father.” Abraham means “father of many” or “father of the multitude.” The covenant is not just reestablished. It is expanded. Abraham’s self-confidence must have been restored. The way you look at yourself changes everything.

My goal today is to help you restore your self-confidence. That is no small task. How many people do you know struggle with self-doubt? Do you struggle with self-doubt? It is a serious issue. Have you ever stopped to consider Satan puts self-doubt into your life because he does not want you to maximize your full potential? He wants you to live in a shell, afraid to come out. God, on the other hand, wants you to live up to your full potential. He wants you to have the greatest impact on your little corner of the world because you are His ambassador. After all, you are a disciple of Jesus Christ! I am going to restore your self-confidence by asking you three questions. Each correct answer is illustrated in Abraham’s story.

This is the first question. Do you know yourself? Abraham was 99 years old in the Bible story. That means he had 99 years to learn about the world and himself. That is one of the things I like about growing older. Proverbs 20:29 says, “The glory of the young is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.” Experience has taught me age makes us secure. When you are young you feel like you have something to prove. You must be the fastest. You must be the strongest. You must be well versed in automotive repairs, construction, and French cooking. You must be the best looking and the most successful. Being young is exhausting. The older you grow the less you must prove and the more you learn to like yourself. Today, the only person I am trying to impress today is myself. I am no longer trying to impress you and I do not care if you do not like me. I do not want to sound arrogant. However, I do want to sound secure.

The most liberating words in my life are the words, “I don’t know!” I am quite comfortable confessing my ignorance. I know nothing plumbing, auto repair, foreign policy, sewing, crafts, and the finer details of physics. I cannot speak a word of Portuguese. I cannot read music or play a musical instrument. Except for my awarding winning chili, I do not cook, but I will eat anything. I do not know anyone interviewed on the late-night talk shows. Saying, “I don’t know,” does not mean you do not know anything. It means only means “I don’t know” about certain things. I do not know anything about cardiology, but I know something about God, preaching, the Bible, church growth and group dynamics. I know I love my wife and my wife loves me. This is the truth. I like being sixty-three years old because I have had sixty-three years to learn about myself, my strengths, and my weaknesses. I have grown secure. Abraham had ninety-nine years to learn about himself. Does anyone here know everything? When was the last time you uttered those three little words, “I don’t know?” Abraham knew who he was, and so did Jesus. Let me ask you the first question again, do you know who you are? Self-confident people know themselves.Do you know yourself?

This is the second question. Do you know whose you are? That is Abraham’s story. We can relate to him because he was so much like us. Genesis 12-16 is filled with one story after another about his mistakes. If God was looking for perfection, then He would have passed over Abraham. However, this is the good news. God was not looking for perfection and accepted the imperfect Abraham to be the father of a great nation. It is still true today. If God was looking for perfection, then God would have passed over us. God hungers to be with us not because we are perfect. God hungers to be with us because he loves us.

One of the great preachers of yesteryear was Philip Brooks (1835-1893). He was extremely confident and optimistic. A close friend asked him what the source of his attitude about life was. He replied, “It is really quite simple. I am a Christian.” Once you discover God’s love for you, everything changes. Just think about it for a second. God claims you as a child. In the end, God will be victorious, and He wants to share the spoils of that victory with you! It really does not matter what the world says about you. The only thing that really matters is that God loves you! Jesus was self-confident because he knew whose he was. Abraham was self-confident because he knew whose he was. You should be self-confident because God loves you too. Let me ask you the second question again, do you know whose you are? Self-confident people know they are loved by God. Do you know who you are? Do you know whose you are?

This is the third and final question. Do you know where you are going? Abraham had hope. He knew he had a bright future. He was going to be the father of a great nation. In the Christian faith, Jesus had hope. He knew he was going to heaven when his suffering in this world was over. May we never forget that Jesus suffered. The Apostle’s Creed says: He (Jesus) suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried; he ascended into heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. Jesus knew he was going to heaven when it was all over. All he had to do was hold on, but it is not just Jesus’s story. It is our story too.

Has there ever been a time in your life when you felt completely defeated? There did not seem to be any escape and every day was a challenge. It was a challenging situation, but you have hope because you are a disciple of Jesus Christ. You know the main event is not this world. The main event is heaven. Someday the challenges of this world are going to be over and you get to go heaven! I have said it a million times. The only things that really matter are the things that will matter in one hundred years. The only thing that will matter in one hundred years is Jesus. Someday we are going to heaven! Let me ask you the third question again, do you know where you are going? Self-confident people are hopeful. When you find yourself defeated by self-doubt ask yourself these three questions. Do you know who you are? Do you know whose you are? Do you know where you are going? Let me end with this story.

History tells us Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) was the sixteenth president of the United States. His life is well documented, so it should come as no surprise he was shot at Washington DC’s Ford Theater on April 14, 1865. He died at the Petersen House across the street from the theater a day later. Due to his height, they laid him sideways on the bed. He is considered the last casualty of the American Civil War. The political climate of America on that day was ugly. The country was in turmoil and was ripped to shreds by hatred and a cruel, costly war. In the past, I told you about the items found inside of Lincoln’s pockets on that horrible evening. Do you remember them? In President Lincoln’s pockets were found:

          1. A handkerchief, embroidered “A. Lincoln”
          2. A country boy’s pen knife
          3. A spectacles case repaired with string
          4. A purse containing a $5 Confederate bill
          5. Some newspaper clippings

One of the newspaper clippings was an article written by British statesman John Bright (1811-1889). He called Lincoln, “one of the greatest minds of all times.” Today, that is common knowledge, but that was not the case in Lincoln’s time. Lincoln’s critics were fierce. Lincoln kept Bright’s words for one reason. He could not believe anyone would say he had a great mind. All these years later, we can confess the truth. Lincoln suffered from depression and self-doubt.

I do not have an article which says you are one of the great minds of all time, but I do have a divine truth that cannot be debated. You are a child of God! There is no reason to be filled with self-doubt. You are so valuable to God. You are so valuable to God He sent Jesus into the world so you can spend eternity with him. I hope you do. Canadian author Marty Rubin (born 1964) once said, “Self-doubt inflicts the deepest wounds.”