3 Simple Rules

Her name was Susanna Wesley (1669-1742), the mother of the founder of Methodism, John Wesley (1703-1791). She knew a thing or two about motherhood and she set the standard high. She was born in 1669, the youngest of twenty-five children. At the age of nineteen she married Samuel Wesley (1663-1735). They knew hardship. Constantly poor, they had nineteen children, nine of their children did not make it into adulthood. Their family home burned down twice. Yet, despite all of this, she is remembered as an outstanding mother. She prepared her children to survive in this world and to be prepared for eternity.

Each one of her children, both boys and girls, were home-schooled. Their education began on the day after their fifth birthday. Each one of them was required to know the complete alphabet after the first day. Once their education was complete, her children knew both Greek and Latin, along with the classics. All this was done within the framework of sixteen house rules. They still speak to our world today. These are her sixteen rules for parenting:

Eating between meals is not allowed.
Children are to be in bed by 8 p.m.
Children are required to take medicine without complaining.
Subdue self-will in a child to save the child’s soul.
Teach a child to pray as soon as he can speak.
Require all to be still during Family Worship.
Give them nothing that they cry for, and only that when asked for politely.
To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed and repented of.
Never allow a sinful act to go unpunished.
Never punish a child twice for a single offense.
Reward good behavior.

12. Any attempt to please, even if poorly performed, should be commended.

Preserve property rights, even in smallest matters.

14. Strictly observe all promises.

15. Require no daughter to work before she can read well.

16. Teach children to fear the rod. 

Those rules demonstrate that Susanna Wesley knew something about raising children. However, this is the Good News for today: This blog does not have sixteen points. This blog only has three. They are found in our reading, John 2:1-11.

The scene is a wedding reception. Couples didn’t honeymoon in those days. No one traveled to Mexico or the Caribbean. However, they did hold receptions that lasted approximately a week. Jesus was invited to one such reception because he was a respected rabbi. Over the generations, certain general rules of hospitality have remained intact. Running out of food or drink has always been a serious matter. In verse three we discover that the wine had run out. Everyone looked for the guilty party, but Mary looked to Jesus.

She knew Jesus had the power to save the day. She believed in Jesus when Jesus didn’t believe in himself. In verse four, we find Jesus making an excuse for his inactivity, “My time has not yet come.” Mary does not listen. Instead, she instructs servants to bring him water. By the end of the scene, the party has resumed. Everyone had enough wine. Verse ten tells us it was the good wine. What does that mean? It means the wine that Jesus produced had a kick. What grabs our attention today is not the quality of the wine, it is the relationship between Mary and Jesus.

Time is important in this story. The nativity was decades earlier. Jesus is no longer a newborn, and Mary is no longer a young mother. In this story, Jesus is thirty years old man, and Mary is a veteran mother. Mary illustrates how our relationships with our children must change. You can’t treat your thirty-year-old child like a newborn, that will destroy any relationship. Your relationship with your children must evolve, as your child evolves. Mary illustrates for us three simple rules parents must follow when dealing with their adult children.

This is rule #1: Know your children! Mary knew Jesus. She was at the wedding reception with Jesus and this was not unusual. Mary spent most days with Jesus. Mary knew Jesus was different from the very beginning. She must have remembered many things. She must have recalled that visit from the angel years earlier, who told her that she had been chosen to be the mother of the Son of God. She must have remembered Jesus’ birth. She remembered the visitors, the shepherds and the Magi. She must have remembered how Jesus wandered off at the age of twelve and was found in the temple. Mary remembered it all because she was part of Jesus’ life for thirty years. She knew Jesus better than Jesus knew himself. How well do you know your children?

How much real time do you spend with your children? Perhaps, this is a better question: How well do your children know you? Can you name three of your children’s friends? If not, maybe you don’t know your children. Spending time with your children is important. Rule #1 says, know your children.

This is rule #2: encourage your children! History tells us that Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) carried an old newspaper article with him regularly. Those who were closest to him say he read it daily. He couldn’t believe the words. The article said Lincoln was a great leader. The article was correct, he is remembered as being a great leader, perhaps our greatest president. However, Lincoln didn’t see himself that way. He was crippled with self-doubt. Lincoln illustrates for us a simple point. It doesn’t really matter what others think of you. The only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself. How do you feel about yourself?

I love this Bible story because it shows the human side of Jesus. Jesus had an insecure side. Look at the story again. The Master is at a wedding reception when the wine ran out. Jesus had the power to solve the problem, but he didn’t try because he was too insecure. It is his mother who gives him the nudge to try. Verse 3 says, “When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, ‘They have no more wine.’” In other words, Mary is telling Jesus to do something. She is encouraging him to do something. Have you ever needed an encouraging word? The world reminds us regularly of what we can’t do. We need people in our lives to remind us of what we can do. It is not just true of the young. It is true of the not-so-young. We are often blind to our own abilities. It is impossible to receive too much encouragement. Rule #2 says, encourage your children.

This is rule #3: Trust your children to God! Mary knew Jesus and she encouraged Jesus. However, the third rule must have been the hardest one for her to apply. She knew God had something special planned for him. She remembered how she and Joseph took Jesus to the temple when he was only eight days old. On that day, they met an old man by the name of Simeon. He knew Jesus was destined for greatness. Do you remember his words? Mary did. Simeon said, “This child is destined for the raising and the falling of many in Israel” (Luke 2:34). Mary didn’t know what that really meant, but she must have asked the question a million times: why does her son have to lead to the raising and the falling? Why not just the raising?

When she encouraged Jesus to change the water into wine, she was encouraging Jesus to get on with his life. She was encouraging Jesus to fulfill his divine destiny. Jesus’ future was out of Mary’s control. She had done the best she could do. Now, she had to trust God with him. We only have our children at home for a short time. Most of their lives they are on their own. How far do you trust God with your children? This is rule #3, trust your children to God.

Years ago, I watched Ken Burn’s (born 1953) documentary on World War II, The War. My father served during that war, so I felt some attachment. I found the interviews of the survivors interesting. That generation is dying quickly. In one episode, they interviewed a native-American soldier who was in the infantry. I will never forget it. I think about it every Mother’s Day. Years after the conflict, he cried about the day he took a German life with his own hands. Death did not come suddenly, the soldier died slowly. Before he died, he called out. According to the man interviewed, he didn’t call out for a medic. He didn’t call out for his friends. He called out for his mother, twice. The man was a solider, but the man was a son who needed his mother.

Don’t tell me motherhood isn’t important. It is important to love your children when they are young, but it is equally important to love them today. Regardless of age, they will always be your children, and you will always be their mother. The English poet and playwright Robert Browning (1812-1889) once said, “Love begins and ends with mothers.” I believe he was right!

God Esteem

History tells us Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) was shot at Washington D.C.’s Ford Theater on April 14, 1865. Much has been written about the shooting and the political climate of America on that day. Very little has been written about the contents found inside of the pockets of our sixteenth president. This is what was found:

          1. A handkerchief, embroidered “A. Lincoln”
          2. A country boy’s pen knife
          3. A spectacles case repaired with string
          4. A purse containing a $5 Confederate bill
          5. Some old and worn newspaper clippings

One of the clippings was an article written by John Bright (1811-1889). He called Lincoln, “one of the greatest minds of all times.” Today, that is common knowledge but that was not the case in Lincoln’s time. In 1865, millions shared quite a contrary opinion. The President’s critics were fierce. The country was in turmoil and was ripped to shreds by hatred and a cruel, costly war. Lincoln kept Bright’s words because he couldn’t believe anyone would say he had a great mind. All these years later, we can confess the truth. Lincoln suffered from depression. He was crippled with self-doubt and haunted by a poor self-image. Do you know of anyone who is depressed, crippled with self-doubt, and haunted with by a poor self-image? Could that be part of your story? That takes us to our scripture reading.

We find ourselves instructed from the twenty-seventh chapter of Matthew. We usually hear these words during the season of Lent, Holy Week in particular. However, that does not mean it doesn’t have something to say to us today – they are powerful words all the time. You may remember the scene. Jesus is on his way to the cross. He is standing with the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate before the crowd. Pilate permits the crowd to decide Jesus’s fate. The crowd chooses Barabbas over Jesus. A short time later, Jesus is executed. Think about the scene for one moment.

Jesus and Pilate made a strange pair. They are exact opposites. Pilate had everything this world had to offer, fame, power, and influence. Jesus had nothing this world has to offer. Yet, it is Pilate who is riddled with self-doubt, not Jesus. What did Jesus have that was absent in Pilate’s life? The answer is God esteem. What is God esteem? It is the understanding that we cannot live our lives on our own and can only live up to our full potential through glorifying God. Jesus is the ultimate example of God esteem. As a disciple of Jesus Christ, I hope you have God esteem. The purpose of your life is not self-promotion. The purpose of your life must be to glorify God. To improve your God esteem let me ask you three questions. This is the first question.

Do you know who you are? Jesusknew who he was. The Gospel narrative is a little thin when it comes to Jesus’ childhood. We are told that Jesus was born in Bethlehem and lived in Egypt for a short time as an infant. He called Nazareth home. We are told he went to the temple in Jerusalem when he was twelve years old and amazed the Elders. We know nothing about his teenage years, but we do know he lived near his mother, Mary, until he was thirty. We know very little about Jesus’ life, but I am comfortable saying Jesus knew who he was from the very beginning. Jesus knew he was the son of God. Jesus knew being the son of God brought unique opportunities, however it also brought unique challenges. Jesus was not arrogant; Jesus was secure. Jesus knew who he was. How many secure people do you know? Do the people in your life consider you a secure person? All secure people know who they are.

The most liberating words in my life are the words, “I don’t know!” When I was younger, I thought I had to know everything. There was a time when I wanted people to think I knew everything. The truth is I am ignorant about many things. I know nothing about plumbing, auto repair, foreign policy, sewing, crafts, and the finer details of physics. I can’t speak a word of Portuguese. It is extremely difficult to know everything. Then I learned to use those three little words, “I don’t know.” Saying, “I don’t know” doesn’t mean you don’t know anything. It means “I don’t know” about certain things. I don’t know anything about cardiology, but I know something about God, preaching, the Bible, church growth and group dynamics. In a few days I will turn sixty-seven years old. I like being my age because I have had years to learn about myself, my strengths, and my weaknesses. Do you consider yourself an expert on everything? When was the last time you uttered those three liberating words, “I don’t know?” Jesus knew who he was. That is the first step in having God esteem! This is the second question.

Do you know whose you are? Jesus knew whose he was. It has been over two thousand years since this Biblical scene. You know how the story ends. Pilate permits Jesus to be crucified and the Master is buried in a cave-like tomb. Jesus spent his earthly ministry surrounded by people, but when the end came, he was alone. The crowds of Palm Sunday disappeared. Jesus was alone except for God. Jesus had confidence because he knew he was loved by God. You can have self-confidence because you are loved by God.

One of the great preachers of yesteryear was Phillips Brooks (1835-1893). He was extremely confident and optimistic. A close friend asked him what the source of his attitude about life was. He replied, “It is really quite simple, I am a Christian.” Once you discover God’s love for you, everything changes. It is not just his story. It is your story too. God claims you as a child. In the end, God will be victorious, and He wants to share the spoils of that victory with you! It really doesn’t matter what the world says about you. The only thing that really matters is that God loves you! That is the second step in having God esteem! This is the third question.

Do you know where you are going? Jesus knew where he was going. You know where Jesus went. The Apostles Creed tells us: He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried; he ascended into heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. Jesus knew he was going to heaven when it was all over. All he had to do was hang on. Jesus’ trials and challenges of this world were only temporary. All he had to do was hang on. He had to hang on through the tension of the crowd and the pain of the cross. Those experiences were temporary, but heaven was going to last for eternity.

Has there ever been a time in your life when you felt completely defeated? There doesn’t seem to be any escape and every day is a challenge. If you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, if you know him as your Lord and Savior, you can sink your roots into this part of the Good News. Someday the challenges of this world are going to be over, and you get to go to heaven! The only things that really matter are the things that will matter in one hundred years. The only thing that will matter in one hundred years is your relationship with Jesus. Someday we are going to heaven! That is the third step in having God esteem.Let me end with this story.

John Sargent (1856-1925) was an American painter. He once painted a panel of roses that was highly praised by critics. It was a small picture, but it approached perfection. Although offered a high price for it on many occasions, Sargent refused to sell it. He considered it his best work and was very proud of it. Whenever he was deeply discouraged and doubtful of his abilities, he would look at it and remind himself, “I painted that.” Then his confidence and ability would come back to him.

Never forget! You are a disciple of Jesus Christ. For that reason and for that reason alone you have God esteem. God can’t make a loser! Because you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, you know who you are. You know your own strengths and weaknesses. Because you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, you know whose you are. You belong to God, and He loves you! Because you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, you know where you are going. The challenges of this world are only temporary. Someday you are going to heaven. You are so valuable Christ died for you!

Between Palm Sunday and Easter

One of the most beautiful buildings in the world is the cathedral in Milan, Italy. I had the good fortune to go there several years ago. Worshippers are welcomed by three magnificent doorways. Over one of the side doorways is a carving of a beautiful wreath of roses, and underneath are the words: “All which pleases is just for a moment.” Over the other side doorway is a sculpted cross with the words: “All that troubles is just for a moment.” But underneath the great central entrance leading to the main aisle is the inscription: “Only the eternal is important.” The message is clear – we should live with our eyes fixed on eternity. Let me ask you two questions: How much time do you spend worrying about the temporary? How much time do you spend worrying about your eternity? The only things that really matter are those things that will matter in 100 years. What matters in 100 years? The only thing that will matter in 100 years is Jesus. That leads us to our scripture lesson.

According to the Revised Common Lectionary, this Sunday is the Fifth Sunday in Lent. That means Easter is only two weeks away. The Gospel reading for this weekend is John 12:20-33. The story begins with a group of Greeks. It is a great way to begin a story. When I was a young, I was surrounded by a group of Greeks in school. They were great people, and they were all named Nick. In the Bible story we do not know their names, but we do know they wanted to see, or interview, Jesus. Their interest in Jesus leads us to believe they were God-fearing Greeks. The most assertive is a man named Philip. He is uncomfortable going to Jesus directly, so he goes to Andrew first. Perhaps, he knew him or heard of him. They were both from the town of Bethsaida. According to verse 22, Philip and Andrew together went to Jesus with Philip’s request.

We are never told if the Greeks ever got to talk to Jesus, but we are told the moment had come reveal his life’s purpose. Jesus cannot escape the painful truth; he is going to die! Jesus did not want to die nor was he surprised by his death. It was all part of the divine plan to save the world. The death of Jesus shows us the depth of God’s love. Comparing himself to a wheat kernel, he knew he must die, so others could live. His death would mean life for generations to come. We stand in the aftershock of Jesus’s death. Without the death of Jesus, there is no resurrection. Without the death of Jesus, there is no salvation. Without the death of Jesus, we have no hope of eternity. Never underestimate the death of Jesus, it changed everything. It is my experience people are uncomfortable with the death of Jesus. That is why good Christian people try to ignore Good Friday. No one wants to worship a dead savior.

That was one of my pet peeves in the ministry. Everyone enjoys Palm Sunday. It is a great day! Attendance is up and the weather in northern Ohio is improving. Everyone is in a good mood because everyone likes waving palms. The traditional scriptures are read, and a video is shown of Jesus entering the Golden City. Everyone is looking forward to the great resurrection day. Everyone enjoys Easter. It is a great day! The flowers are beautiful, the traditional hymns are sung, the traditional scripture is read, and the video is shown of the empty tomb. Everyone leaves happy because ham is waiting for them. (Who does not like ham?) Please do not misunderstand me. I have nothing against Palm Sunday or Easter. They are both great days, but there is so much more. Most miss the rich days of Holy Week. The crowds of Palm Sunday and Easter are replaced by a small group on Maundy Thursday and a smaller group on Good Friday. I hope that is not your story. I hope you do not just run from Palm Sunday to Easter. I hope you remember what Jesus did every day of Holy Week. Those days are important because they revolve around the death of Jesus. Do something different this year and remember what Jesus did for you each day of Holy Week.

Do you remember what Jesus did on Holy Monday? According to the Bible, two significant things happened on that day. The first event of Holy Monday was the cleansing of the Temple. It had nothing to do with fundraising to help some good cause within the life of the church, but it had everything to do with using the faith for personal gain. The Temple was a place of prayer, not profit. The church is a place of prayer, not profit. The second significant event of Holy Monday is the cursing of the fig tree. It was the only thing Jesus ever cursed. Like the bald eagle which symbolizes America, the fig tree symbolized Israel. The cursing of the fig tree was an act of judgement upon Israel. God was doing something new. Never forget what happened on Holy Monday!

Do you remember what Jesus did on Holy Tuesday? According to the Bible, the disciples saw the withered fig tree and were reminded they must be productive. Jesus went back to the Temple where he was challenged by the Pharisees and the Sadducees. It was also there that he taught about the Kingdom of God. Two great stories came from that day. He taught about paying taxes to Caesar and he noticed a widow’s slim donation. He also told the parable of the two sons, the parable of the tenants and others. Then, he went to Bethany, near Jerusalem, where he was anointed. He was being prepared for death. Never forget what happened on Holy Tuesday!

Do you remember what Jesus did on Holy Wednesday? Some call it Spy Wednesday. It was on that day the plan to trap Jesus was conceived. One of his own, Judas Iscariot, betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Some say he did it because he was greedy. Some say he did it because he had grown tired of being an outsider. He was the only non-Galilean of the twelve. Some say he did it to force Jesus’ hand – he never dreamed Jesus would not fight back. We do not really know why he did it, but he did it. In the end, Judas Iscariot regretted his betrayal and committed suicide. There is nothing else to say. Never forget what happened on Holy Wednesday!

Do you remember what Jesus did on Holy Thursday? We call it Maundy Thursday. That was the day Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, showing true servant leadership. Then, they observed the Seder. It was a meal with a message. Everything they ate and everything they drank reminded them of their ancestry. After all, they were God’s Chosen People. During the meal, Jesus changed the words and created a new memorial, holy communion. The bread is his body, and the wine is his blood. After the meal was over, Jesus comforted the disciples and went to the garden to pray. It was in the garden Jesus was arrested. Never forget what happened on Holy Thursday!

Do you remember what Jesus did on Holy Friday? We call it Good Friday. It was good for us, but bad for Jesus. Jesus had two trials. The first trial was in front of his own people. It was a “kangaroo” court. Jesus never had a chance. He was found guilty. They wanted to execute Jesus, but they lacked the legal authority. For this reason, they sent him to the Roman Governor, Pilate. He knew Jesus was innocent, but he feared the mob. The crowd rejected Jesus and accepted Barabbas, an insurrectionist. The order was given that Jesus must die. It was a public affair. It was a way of deterring crime. First came the whipping. Then came the crown of thorns. Each step came with ridicule. Finally came the cross, a Roman way to execute. Jesus was not tied to the cross; he was nailed to the cross. He was hung between two common criminals. In comparison to other executions on the cross, his death came quickly, and they put his body in a tomb. The sky grew dark, and the people wondered what would happen. His family and friends cried, because he was dead, and their dreams were gone. Never forget what happened on Holy Friday!

Do you remember what happened on Holy Saturday? Some call it, Silent Saturday. Others call it Black Saturday or Easter Eve. There is nothing to remember about that day because Jesus was dead. The people who loved Jesus, both family and friends, struggled with his death. Some of them were in shock. Some were in denial and some of them cried. Their great dreams of a bright future were over, Jesus was dead! How comfortable are you with the death of Jesus? You know what happened on Sunday. It is the worst kept secret in the history of the world. It is also the very foundation of our faith. It changed everything. Never forget what happened each day of Holy Week!

It became the tradition of my last church to go to the local cemetery to hold a Tenebrae service on Good Friday. It is our way to remember the death of Jesus. We were joined by other United Methodist congregations in the area. The truth be told, the group is always small. I really do not care, it is the right thing to do. The traditional scriptures are read, and the candles are extinguished. The service ended with the same words annually, May God have mercy on us because Christ died for us. I was always spiritually spent once the service was over. They reality of Christ’s death is hard for me to accept.

One year, on Easter morning one of the saints from my church wanted to talk to me about his experience at the cemetery. He had a bad experience. He could not hear because the woman next to him kept talking. He could not see because he sat in the back. He did not like his seat because it was uncomfortable. He did not like going to the cemetery because it reminded him of his own death. He did not like the music because it was too depressing. As he went through his list of complaints, I stayed quiet. When I finally got a word in, I said, “Good! If Christ hung on the cross for your sins for hours, then you can handle a few unpleasant minutes.” He responded a few seconds later, “I think you are right!”May we never forget Christ died for us! Reformed theologian Richard Allen Bodey (1930-2013) once said, “He drained the cup of God’s wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us.”