Tag: Expectations

Do You Like Apricots?

According to the scriptures, God selected Abram to be the father of a great nation. (Genesis 12:2) His descendants were to be as numerous as the stars in the sky. To underscore this calling, God changed his name from Abram to Abraham. In Hebrew, Abram means “exalted father.” Abraham means “Father of the multitude.” Yet, Abraham only had one child with his wife Sarah – Isaac. Abraham’s blessing was passed on to Isaac.

Isaac and his wife, Rebekah, had twin boys. (Genesis 25:19-26) The boys were not identical twins; the boys were fraternal and they were nothing alike. They even battled in the womb. (Genesis 25:22) The first boy born must have been a handsome lad. He was red and hairy. For that reason, they named him Esau, which means “hairy.” (Genesis 25:25) The second boy had a fighting spirit.  He was still wrestling with his brother during his birth, grabbing his brother’s heel. They named him Jacob, which means “seizing the heel.” (Genesis 25:26) In certain ways the boys were like us. We like to think we are independent and choose our own path but, like Esau and Jacob, we are influenced by three great expectations. In this blog, I want to look at those expectations.

The first societal expectations. Our society expects a great deal from us. On May 24, 2012, Major League Baseball’s St. Louis Cardinals were hosting the Philadelphia Phillies. The game was competitive and the crowd enjoyed themselves. In the crowd was twenty-two-year-old Collin Grundstrom (born 1990). Just as the seventh inning was about to begin, a beer fueled Grundstrom decided to take his fun to a new level. He slipped into his birthday suit and streaked onto the field. The crowd cheered, but the police were not amused. In time, they caught and body slammed Grundstrom. He was charged with public nudity. One of the things our society expects from us is to keep our clothes on in public.

Every society is filled with countless expectations. Sociologists call them societal norms. Consider these societal norms or expectations. They are in no order.

          1. Giving Christmas presents

          2. Leaving a tip for a waiter (At least 15%)

          3. Saying please and thank you

          4. Avoid burping in public

          5. Chewing gum with no sound

          6. Chewing food with your mouth closed

          7. Showering

          8. Brushing your teeth

          9. Opening the door for a lady

          10. Surrendering your seat to an elderly person

You get the point. There are certain things our society expects. It is true of our generation, and it was true of Esau and Jacob’s generation too. From the moment Esau and Jacob were born their society was telling them how to act. From the moment you enter this world our society tells us the proper way to act. We are influenced by societal expectations.

The second is family expectations. Our families expect certain things from us. In 2012, my daughter, Anna, graduated from the University of Mount Union. I graduated from Mount Union in 1979. As a matter of fact, her Major was the same as my major, Business Administration with a minor in Marketing. In several classes we had the same professors over thirty years apart. I was so pleased, I told her several times I loved her and how proud I was of her on her graduation day. The last time I told her, she responded, “Dad, I don’t know why you are so impressed. I thought we were expected to go to college!”

Our families influence us in many ways. They serve as our first blueprint for future relationships, form our identities, and refine our behavior. Families shape our self-identity, provide a support system, encourage healthy behavior, promote or reduce our stigmas, and influence our priorities and opinions. When I ask couples getting married, “Whose relationship do you admire the most?” They never say Travis and Taylor. They tell me – their parents. Like it or not, you are influenced by your family.

Esau and Jacob were influenced by their family too. What did the text say? Their father, Isaac, prayed for his children before they were even conceived. It is not surprising Jacob went on to become one of the greatest spiritual leaders in the history of the world. How are you influencing the spiritual life of the youngest in your family? We are influenced by family expectations.

The third is divine expectations. God expects certain things from us. Someone once asked Jesus the question, “What is the greatest commandment in the law?” (Matthew 22:36) Jesus answered the question, “You are to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37) That means you are to love God completely. In other words, God is to be the top priority in your life. That is what God expects.

There is something called the World Population Review, which wanted to determine the happiest country in the world. They looked at 184 different counties and examined a wide variety of facts. They discovered the happiest country in the world is Finland, followed by Denmark, Iceland, Sweden and the Netherlands. The most unhappy country in the world is Afghanistan, followed by Sierra Leone and Lebanon. According to this study, the United States is the twenty-second happiest country in the world. Many were surprised by this low ranking, because many believe money can buy happiness. That simply isn’t true. If that is true, then the United States should be the happiest country in the world, because the United States holds nearly 35% of the world’s wealth. I think we are number twenty-two because we are no longer preoccupied with God. Today, we are preoccupied with money. As a nation we are spiritually out of balance. God is to be our top priority. That is what God expects. Let me end with this question.

Do you like apricots? You did not misread the question. I am asking you about the small yellowish-orange fruit with a single pit. Some love apricots; others hate apricots. What is your answer? Do you like apricots? I read this story years ago.

A young psychology student, serving in the Army, decided to test a theory. Drawing kitchen duty, he was given the job of passing out apricots at the end of the chow line. He asked the first few soldiers that came by, “You don’t want any apricots, do you?” Ninety percent said “No.” Then he tried the positive approach: “You do want apricots, don’t you?” About half answered, “Uh, yeah. I’ll take some.” Then he tried a third test. This time he asked, “One dish of apricots or two?” This time, 40 percent took two dishes and 50 percent took one!

That young psychology student learned quickly about the power of expectations. In America, we celebrate the fact that we are free, but we are not completely independent. We are influenced by three great expectations: society, family and spiritual. I would encourage you to view those expectations as a blessing, not a curse. Perhaps, this is a better question: what do you expect from yourself?

Great Expectations

According to the Bible, Abram was selected by God to be the father of a great nation. (Genesis 12:2) His descendants were to be as numerous as the stars of the sky. To emphasize the point, God changed Abram’s name to Abraham. Abram means “exalted father.” Abraham means “father of many nations.” Yet, Abraham only had one child with his wife Sarah – Isaac. They were advanced in age when he was born. Abraham was one hundred years old and Sarah was ninety.

According to our reading, Genesis 25:19-26, Isaac was sixty years old when he became a father. Isaac’s wife, Rebekah, gave birth to fraternal twin boys. The boys’ relationship was stormy from the very beginning. Genesis 25:22 says they even wrestled with one another in the womb. At birth, their differences were exposed to the world. The first baby was red and hairy. He must have been a handsome lad. They named him Esau, which means “hairy.” The second baby, named Jacob, had a fighting spirit. He came into the world grabbing his brother’s heel. Jacob means “seizing his brother’s heel.” The differences between the two did not vanish as they grew. They became more pronounced. Esau, the hairy one, became a great outdoorsman. Jacob, the heel grabber, stayed near the tents.

In many ways, before Esau and Jacob took their first breath, the die was cast for their lives. There were expectations placed on them. Those expectations came from different sources. There were societal expectations. There were family expectations. There were divine expectations. Those same expectations are influencing us. No, we are not masters of our own destiny; we are not the captain of our own lives. To a certain degree, we are products of our surroundings. They are one of the reasons this ancient story speaks to us. Like us, Esau and Jacob were products of their surroundings too. In this blog I want to look at those three expectations.

There are societal expectations. Sociologists call them societal norms. They are unwritten rules of behavior, thought, and conduct that are accepted as appropriate within a specific group or culture. Let me give you a few examples. They are in no particular order:

          1. Giving Christmas presents

          2. Leaving a tip for a server

          3. Saying please and thank you

          4. Avoid burping in public

          5. Chewing gum with no sound

          6. Chewing food with your mouth closed

          7. Cleanliness

          8. Brushing your teeth

          9. Opening the door for a lady

          10. Surrendering your seat to an elderly person

Do I have to go on? You get the point. There are certain things our society expects. Obviously, society expects different things from men and women. It is true of our generation, and it was true of Esau’s and Jacob’s generation as well. From the moment they entered this world their culture was telling them how to act. From the moment you enter this world our culture has been telling you the proper way to act. We are influenced by societal expectations. If you don’t believe me, then don’t give any Christmas presents this year.

There are family expectations. My youngest daughter, Anna, and I graduated from the same college, the University of Mount Union in Alliance, Ohio.  As a matter of fact, her major was the same as my major, Business Administration. In several classes we had the same professors thirty-four years apart. My father never told me two things. He never said to me, “I love you.” He never said to me, “I am proud of you.” Now, it is too late. I didn’t want to make that same mistake, so I have told Anna countless times those two things. I told her on the day she graduated from college. Anna responded by saying, “Dad, I don’t know why you are so impressed. I thought we were expected to go to college!“

What does your family expect from you? Studies tell us most follow the same political party as their parents. Most are the same religion as their parents. The food we eat is influenced by our parents. Our behavior and values are influenced by our parents. Our goals and skills are influenced by our parents. The way we communicate is influenced by our parents. Our priorities are influenced by our parents. When I ask couples getting married, “Whose relationship do you admire the most?” They don’t say David (born 1975) and Victoria Beckham (born 1974). They say their parents. Esau and Jacob were influenced by their family too. Have you ever considered how your parents influenced you? Have you ever considered how influential you are on your children?

There are divine expectations. The World Population Review studied various factors in 184 countries to discover the happiest country in the world.  According to them, Finland is the happiest country in the world. Then comes Denmark, Iceland, Sweden and Israel. The most unhappy country in the world is Afghanistan. I am not surprised. I was surprised the United States is the twentieth happiest country in the world. I find that interesting. Obviously, money can’t buy happiness. The United States holds 32% of the world’s wealth. The question is: why are we number twenty? Many have been trying to figure out our low ranking. You can point to the rising cost of healthcare, political division or inflation. Those factors don’t help, but there is a spiritual answer that cannot be ignored.

Someone asked Jesus the question, “What is the greatest commandment in the law?” (Matthew 22:36) Jesus answers the question, “You are to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37) That means you are to love God completely. In other words, God is to be the top priority in your life. That is what God expects. I believe we are number twenty because God is no longer a priority in our society. We are no longer preoccupied with our divine purpose. Today, we are preoccupied with our incomes. Many entered their vocation because of the high earning potential, ignoring personal satisfaction. That would explain why the Harris Research Group reported recently 40% of Americans are unhappy at their jobs. Money isn’t everything and money can’t buy happiness. Have you ever considered what God wants you to do? America is spiritually out of balance. How great of a priority is God in your life? Let me end with this story.

A young psychology student serving in the Army decided to test a theory. Drawing kitchen duty, he was given the job of passing out apricots at the end of the chow line. He asked the first few soldiers that came by, “You don’t want any apricots, do you?” Ninety percent said “No.” Then he tried the positive approach: “You do want apricots, don’t you?” About half answered, “Uh, yeah. I’ll take some.” Then he tried a third test, based on the fundamental either/or selling technique. This time he asked, “One dish of apricots or two?” Although soldiers don’t like Army apricots, 40 percent took two dishes, and 50 percent took one!

Expectations are influential. It has always been true. The society in which you live influences our lives. The families in which you were born influence your life. God should be influencing your life. How much is God influencing your life? American inventor and engineer Charles F. Kettering (1876-1958) once said, “High achievements always take place in the framework of high expectations.”