Church Shopping

There was a time when a person’s church home was often chosen for them. If you were born into a Methodist family, you attended a Methodist church. If you were raised Baptist, you attended a Baptist church. Presbyterians attended Presbyterian churches, while Roman Catholics and Orthodox Christians typically remained within their respective traditions.

Over the past fifty years, however, that pattern has changed. People today are more likely to visit several congregations before deciding where to worship. As a result, the term church shopper has become common. A church shopper is someone who visits multiple churches in search of a congregation that meets his or her spiritual needs, values, and preferences before making a commitment. At one time, many people were uncomfortable admitting that they were church shopping. Today, they speak about it quite openly. During my years in full-time ministry, I tried to be sensitive to church shoppers. Any pastor who is interested in church growth must answer the question:

What are church shoppers looking for in a church? To answer that question, we turn to Acts 2:42-47.

According to the text, the great Day of Pentecost had passed, and the church had been established. This early church was a body of believers who devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, fellowship, the breaking of bread, and prayer. They met together daily, shared life closely with one another, and gave generously to anyone in need. The Holy Spirit rested upon these believers, and miracles were common among them. The church enjoyed the favor of the people, and God added to their number daily those who were being saved. Throughout my years in ministry, I used the early church as a model, because church shoppers are looking for a church like the early church. In this blog, we will look at four priorities of church shoppers.

Church Shoppers are looking for a church that emphasizes Bible. Acts 2:42 says, “They devoted themselves to the apostle’s teachings.” We do not have the benefit of living apostles. But we have the next best thing, the Bible! The Bible tells us how to live and what to believe. Without the Bible we are lost.

History tells us that the famed scientist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) was sometimes so absorbed in thought that he would become forgetful about everyday matters. One evening, while riding the train home, the conductor came by to collect tickets. Einstein searched his pockets but could not find his ticket. “That’s all right, Dr. Einstein,” the conductor said. “I know who you are. You ride this train every day. You can show me your ticket tomorrow.” Einstein replied, “Young man, the problem is not my ticket. The problem is that I don’t know where I’m going.” In much the same way, without the Bible we do not know where we are going. God’s Word gives direction for life. It reveals His will, His purposes, and His plan for His people. Church shoppers are looking for a church that emphasizes the Bible.

Church shoppers are looking for a church with strong fellowship. Acts 2:42 says, “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship.” People are simply not looking for a place to attend on Sunday. They are looking for a place to belong. They want meaningful relationships, genuine acceptance, and a community that cares for them. In a world where loneliness is increasingly common, the church can provide what many people are desperately seeking: a spiritual family where they are known, loved, and encouraged in their walk with Christ.

John Wilkes Booth (1838-1865) shot Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) on April 14, 1865, at Ford’s Theatre in Washington, D.C. Lincoln had five items in his possession that evening: a handkerchief embroidered with “A. Lincoln,” a boy’s penknife, a pair of spectacles, a five-dollar Confederate note, and a newspaper article written by John Bright. The article described Lincoln as one of the greatest men of all time. Those closest to Lincoln said that he read that article countless times because he could hardly believe those words. Lincoln struggled to see his own value. It is widely known today that he suffered from depression, and loneliness was a recurring part of his life. How many lonely people are there in our community today? How many are searching for a place where they can be loved, accepted, and supported? Church shoppers are looking for a church with strong fellowship.

Church shoppers are looking for a church that is passionate about Jesus! The text says, “They devoted themselves to the apostle’s teachings and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread.” The author is not just talking about a meal. The author is talking about communion.” The early church had communion every time they gathered because they wanted to remember Jesus. They had a passion for Jesus.

Augustine of Hippo (354-430) once said, “Our hearts are restless until we find our rest in God.” John Wesley (1703-1791) called it prevenient grace – the kind of grace that calls us home. It all begins and ends with Jesus. German Lutheran theologian Rudolph Bultmann (1884-1976) once said, “There is a faint recollection of Eden in all of us calling us home.” Each one is saying the same thing – our lives are incomplete with Jesus. Without Jesus, our souls are incomplete. Church shoppers are looking for a church that is passionate about Jesus.

Church shoppers are looking for a church that places a high priority on prayer. The text says, “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42). Prayer was not an occasional activity for the early church. It was one of the foundations upon which the church was built. The importance of prayer remains evident today. According to Pew Research, 44% of Americans pray daily, while another 23% pray at least weekly. These numbers remind us that people continue to have a deep desire to connect with God.

True prayer is opening our hearts to God and aligning our lives with His will. It is a time of fellowship with Him, listening as well as speaking, trusting as well as asking. Church shoppers are looking for a church that places a high priority on prayer.

In retirement, I became a church shopper. I quickly discovered that finding a good church is not easy. After visiting and considering the churches in my community, I found a church an hour from our home. My soul is worth the drive. At this stage of life, I need a church that emphasizes the Bible, fosters strong fellowship, is passionate about Jesus, and places a high priority on prayer. I believe it is where God wants me to be. American author and church leader Thom S. Rainer may have said it best: “The church is not a store to be shopped; it is a community to be shared.”

Church Paralysis

When I first retired, I worshipped in a small membership church in eastern Ohio near the Pennsylvania line. I have nothing negative to say about them. They were nice people who took great pride in their church building. Weekly before worship, they would gather in a circle of chairs and visit. They talked about all kinds of things. They reminisced about the glory days of their church and how the community had changed. They talked about their illnesses and the latest news. They talked about the latest conquest of their high school athletic teams. They talked about everything, but they never talked about the future of their church. It was the big pink elephant in the middle of the room. Everyone knew it, but no one wanted to admit it – their days were numbered, their church was dying. Their pastor tried a variety of things to help them continue in ministry. She suggested they start a food pantry, but the idea was easily shot down. She held and paid for a Vacation Bible School for the community, but most members didn’t care. Some believed the denomination should write them a generous check to continue.

They got so desperate they asked me what they could do to save their church. They pulled me off to the side one Sunday and asked me what to do. I said, “do something! Anything is better than nothing.” I suggested updating their Facebook page, collecting school supplies for the local school, or talk to visitors. It would have been nice to change the paraments to reflect the correct liturgical season. They listened patiently, but in the end, they did nothing. They were suffering from what I call “church paralysis.” Churches are excellent at doing nothing. That small membership church in eastern Ohio is not alone. Many churches are excellent at doing nothing.

There is a blogger named Paul Alexander. He wrote a blog called Six Reasons Churches Refuse to Change. This blog has some merit. These are his reasons. Perhaps you can find your church in his list?

Procrastination – Have you ever attended a church meeting where nothing happened? After ninety minutes of talking, nothing happened. The time was spent reviewing the members’ workday, family problems and medical conditions. In the end, a failed program from the past was brought back. The truth is no one expects it to be successful this time.

Structure – Have you ever been part of a church where some committee acts as the ultimate authority. They vote down anything they don’t like or understand. They vote down anything that doesn’t benefit them or their friends. Committees should help people do, not frustrate, ministry.

Focus – Have you ever attended a church that was more interested in the members’ needs than the needs of anyone outside of the church? They are more concerned about seeing their birthday printed in the bulletin, than they are helping strangers obtain basic human needs.

Desire – Have you ever attended a church that was consumed by the members’ likes and dislikes. Selfish individuals like things their way. They expect everyone to worship in a style they like. They expect everyone to sing the songs they like. They want to worship at a time that is convenient to them. There is very little thought about what others like or what others find beneficial.

Money – Have you ever attended a church meeting where a new idea for ministry was shot down because of a lack of money or questionable insurance coverage? Money is an excellent excuse for doing nothing. Jesus spoke more about money than any other topic because money is important. How we spend our money reveals our priorities. Have you ever noticed there is never enough money for things we don’t like, and we can find money for the things we like?

Fear – Have you ever been part of a church who is afraid they will upset important church members? If they leave, there is no one to replace them. If they leave, they will take their money. The important members like the status quo, so churches do nothing to keep key people happy.

I will admit it, every church I served had these elements. Every church, to some degree, suffers from church paralysis. This is painfully true. On the day any church becomes more concerned about themselves than the world, it stops being the church God intended from the very beginning. After all, the church is the only organization that exists for its nonmembers. All this takes us to our scripture reading, Matthew 21:18-22.

It is Monday of Holy Week. The events of Palm Sunday are nothing more than a memory, and the crowd had dispersed. It is early in the morning and Jesus was alone with the disciples. They are headed back into Jerusalem. The author goes out of his way to tell us, Jesus is hungry. He spots an innocent fig tree to satisfy his hunger. It is full of leaves, which means it should have been full of its fruit. However, there is none. Out of character, Jesus curses the fig tree, and it instantly dies. It is the only thing Jesus ever cursed. The meaning of the story is lost to our generation, but Jesus’ generation understands the point clearly. It is a judgement story. Like the bald eagle which represents America, the fig tree represented Israel. Its leafy state was false advertising. Israel was being cursed because she was not fulfilling her divine purpose. There should have been fruit, but there was none. Like the fig tree, God expects the church to fulfill her divine purpose too. It is not enough to just exist and look good – we must be productive. The dead tree must have acted as a reminder to that generation that existence is not enough. Through the eyes of God, they had to be productive. Many unproductive churches are suffering the same fate as the fig tree.

April 16, 2023, was a sad day for my small membership church in extreme eastern Ohio. That was the day they held their last worship service. That church existed for over one hundred years, but no more. The large check from the denomination never came, but the denomination did close her. Except for the few remaining members no one seemed to care, and they didn’t care enough to do something. The church died of church paralysis. That church is not alone.

According to the Barna Research Group, approximately 3,700 churches close in America annually. Scattered across America are countless repurposed church buildings. My area is no exception. Former church buildings have been turned into art museums, childcare centers, adult daycare centers, beauty salons, private residences, restaurants, distilleries, and breweries. Recently, I discovered a former church that had been repurposed into a meadery. The worst is when an old, closed church building falls into disrepair. It is my guess, most of these churches did not close because the people weren’t nice. They did not close because of some sin committed by the members or the clergy. They did not close because the Gospel was not relevant. I believe many of these churches closed because they suffered from church paralysis. They simply refused to do something.

Like the dead tree, those repurposed church buildings stand as a warning to every functioning church. It does not matter how large your church is today. It does not matter how active your church is today. Church paralysis can happen at any church. It is not enough to just exist – every church must be productive. What new thing has your church done lately? Churches were never meant to be monuments of some past glory. They are meant to be a productive part of society. LifeWay’s Thom Rainer (born 1955) once said, “Some churches would rather die than get out of the comfort of the past.”

Adapt or Die

We find ourselves in the sixth chapter of Acts, the first seven verses. The great day of Pentecost had passed, and the church was established. The Good News is being spread and lives are being transformed. The church had grown beyond the Holy Land. Gentiles were joining the church. That is both good and bad. It is good because more are being saved, but it is bad because the growth caused conflict. The conflict was not contained. It is seen both outside of the church and inside the church. The stoning of Stephen (Acts 6:8-7:60) illustrates the conflict outside of the church. Our reading for today illustrates the conflict inside of the church. There is no other way to say it. The church was divided. It was the Hellenistic Jews verses the Hebraic Jews. In other words, it was Greek speaking Jews, born outside of the Holy Land, who saw little value in traditional Hebrew customs verses Palestinian Jews, who spoke Aramaic and/or Hebrew who longed to keep traditional Hebrew customs alive. It always happens when people take their eyes off Jesus, secondary issues take primary focus. It has always been true. It is still true in our time.

Our reading contains both the first recorded complaint in the history of the church and the first established committee. The Hellenistic Jews complained their widows were not getting their daily distribution of food. That means the early church cared about both the physical and spiritual needs of their people. To solve the problem, the Apostles formed a committee to handle the matter, freeing them to teach. However, the real issue is not the food. The real issue is change caused by church growth. The church was adapting to their newest members. It is important to note, they are not compromising the Gospel message. They are simply adapting to their changing church. I am comfortable saying, if the church had not adapted, then they would have lost their newest members. It is still true today. We cannot compromise the Gospel message, but we must adapt to our ever-changing world. How many examples do you need?

In March of 1994, I received a phone call from my District Superintendent, I was being moved to the Youngstown, Ohio area. I was pleased with that information because my parents were aging, and I wanted to get closer to them. A few hours later, I was told I was being appointed to the Western Reserve United Methodist Church in Canfield. Over the next few days, we set up an interview with the Staff-Parish Relations Committee. United Methodist interviews are really an introduction. We are appointed, not hired. The committee got to know me, and I got to know a little more about the church. The committee longed for one thing, church growth! Like many other mainline Protestant churches, attendance was low, and the congregation was aging. One of the saints on that committee asked me after the meeting, “Is there anything you can do for us? Our church is dying!” I answered, “Yes!” I spent my last twenty-eight years in the ministry trying to keep my word.

For years, in the top left-hand drawer of my desk at Western Reserve was the 1994 East Ohio Annual Conference Journal. It contained all the facts and figures of all the congregations in the Annual Conference for that year. I saved that journal for one reason. It acted as a baseline. I wanted to know if we were making any progress. It also acted as a baseline for the other churches in our district and Annual Conference. Do you know what I have learned from studying those old figures? In nearly every case, the numbers were down. In other words, our churches are dying. It isn’t just true of the United Methodist Church. It is true of every mainline Protestant denomination in this section of the country.

That is why everyone says they want church growth. I have never met a pastor who didn’t want to experience it. I have never met a church that didn’t want to experience it. For decades, denominational bureaucrats promoted church growth and sponsored church growth worships. I will be honest, in my time in the ministry, nothing was more personally satisfying than watching my church grow. That is why everyone says they want church growth! We want church growth because we don’t want our church to die. We want our church to grow because new members bring more money. We want church growth because we need help with all that church work. Everyone says they want church growth because we want our local church to live beyond our generation. The first verse in our reading says, “In those days when the number of disciples was increasing.” The church is growing and that is a good thing. Everyone should be happy. However, that is not the case. There are some in the story who are unhappy because the new members were forcing the church to change. They were being forced to adapt to their changing church and world.

John Adams (1735-1826) became the second president of the United States on March 4, 1797. That transfer of power was one of the most pivotal moments in American history. Many wanted George Washington (1732-1799) to stay in office. He thrived at nearly everything he did during his sixty-seven years of life. Washington was extremely popular after the Revolutionary War. His popularity united the young country and propelled him to the office of president. He served two terms and walked away. Many desired Washington to stay in some form exposes the human condition. People do not like change. They didn’t want him to leave because they were afraid of the unknown. After all, the safest thing to do is nothing. Have you ever refused to change because of the fear of the unknown? We value stability. This is the problem. Our society is always changing. However, this is equally true.

We will tolerate change in certain areas. We will tolerate change when it comes to communication. Do you know anyone who does not own a cell phone? We tolerate change when it comes to transportation. No one travels by covered wagon anymore. We embrace change when it comes to medicine. Would you have heart surgery using 1920 methods? On the day George Washington died, his doctor tried to heal him by giving him a good bleeding. When was your last good bleeding? We will tolerate change in certain areas of our lives, but not every area of our life. The more personal the issue then less tolerant we are of change. Religion extremely personal. The problem is the church must adapt to our changing world or die.

My generation of clergy have been well schooled in church growth principles. Most of those principles talk about how to get people through the front door. You can promote the church in a different way. You can start a new worship service. You can get involved in the problems in our community. Those principles work. They get new members through the front door, but in those classes, we never talked about the back door. People come through the front door. People leave through the back door. Have you ever left a church through the backdoor? Why do most people leave a church? They don’t leave because the halls are dirty. They don’t leave because the sermon is boring. They don’t leave because the minister is too handsome. They don’t leave because of the number of mistakes in the bulletin. They don’t leave because of the quality of the music. They do not leave because of the style of worship. They leave because they don’t feel welcomed. If there are a million ways to say, “I love you,” then, there are a million ways to say, “I don’t want you. Get out!” Could it be, most established members do not mind seeing newcomers leave because they created unwanted change? That takes us back to our reading.

The early church was adapting to their changing world. They are not compromising the Gospel message; they are compromising secondary issues. Through the eyes of God, those things really do not matter. The only thing that matters in the life of the church is Jesus. Examine the story through that filter. The church began in Jerusalem, so everyone related to the Golden City and Hebrew ways. The newest converts related to the Greek world. They are Hellenistic Jews. It doesn’t sound like a big deal to us, but it was a big deal to them. The growth of the church had changed the church, itself. The choice was simple. The early church could adapt to their changing world and grow, or they could refuse to change and die. In our time, everyone says they want church grow, but many resist change. If they do not change, then we will die.

Since I retired, I have been worshipping in small membership churches. The one I have been to the most sits on the Ohio/Pennsylvania state line. The old well-maintained building has beautiful stained-glass windows. The summer attendance is approximately thirteen. Each person is very nice and comfortable. Everyone knows everyone’s name and story. Before and after worship, they sit in a circle on comfortable chairs. It is there they get caught up on the local news and recall the past. Weekly, they bring up the condition of their church. Each one knows the truth. Their church has no future. It is only a matter of time before the building is closed. They believe, the problem is society. The world has changed, and they refuse to adapt to their changing world. They worship in a way that was popular seventy years ago. They sing hymns that were written hundreds of years ago. They are not interested in trying something new to reach out into their community. It is very sad, but it is their choice. They are looking for the miraculous to save their church. They say, they want church growth, but they are not interested in changing a thing. It is not just their story.

It is the story of many mainline Protestant congregations in our time. They are choosing to die. They simply refuse to adapt to our changing world. How many churches in your community will be closed in ten years? Research tells us about 3,700 churches close on an average year. Acts 6:1-7 teaches us secondary things in the life of the church do not matter. The only thing that matters in the life of the church is Jesus. Russian author Leo Toystoy (1828-1910) once said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.”