The topic is marriage. As I prepared to write this blog I came across a mountain of random statistics and fun facts. I found them entertaining, and I hope you do too. Let me just give you a few.
Did you know January and February are tied for the least popular months to get married?
Did you know on average there are 6,200 weddings every day in America?
Did you know in New Hampshire with parental permission a female at age 13 and a male at age 14 can marry?
Did you know Kentucky state law prohibits a man from marrying his ex-wife’s grandmother?
Did you know over 80% of all married men, regardless of age, say their wife is good-looking.
Did you know the most married person in history was probably King Mongut of Siam, the monarch in “The King and I?” He had 9,000 wives and concubines.
Did you know 60% of American couples describe their marriage as very happy?
Did you know in colonial days, a Boston sea captain named Kemble was sentenced to spend two hours in the stocks for kissing his wife in public on Sunday, the day he returned from three years at sea?
Did you know every day, 175 Americans aged 65 or older get married?
Did you know over 90% of American couples remain sexually faithful to their spouse after marriage?
Did you know 75% of American couples say divorce is not likely at all?
Did you know 75% of married people say their spouse is their best friend?
Did you know 80% of American couples say they would marry the same person if they had to do it over again?
I found that list of statistics and facts on the internet, so I hope they are true.
The topic is marriage. On May 27 Kathryn and I celebrated our thirty-sixth wedding anniversary. Through the eyes of the young that is a long time. In my years of church work I know many couples who have been married longer. I learned years ago the secret is not finding someone you can live with, the secret is finding that person you cannot live without. Our thirty-six years together have gone quickly. We fear being in this world alone. Years ago, I came across the ingredients of a successful marriage. I do not know where they originated, but I think they hold true.
The first ingredient that is needed in a successful marriage is commitment. During his courtship with a young woman named Julia Dent (1826-1902), Ulysses S. Grant (1822-1885) once took her out for a buggy ride. Coming to a flooded creek spanned by a flimsy bridge, Grant assured Julia that it was safe to cross. “Don’t be frightened,” he said. “I’ll look after you.” “Well,” replied Julia, “I shall cling to you whatever happens.” True to her word, she clung tightly to Grant’s arm as they drove safely across. Grant drove on in thoughtful silence for a few minutes, then cleared his throat and said, “Julia, you said back there that you would cling to me whatever happened. Would you like to cling to me for the rest of our lives?” She would, and they were married on August 22, 1848. In their marriage they experienced the very best and the very worst. Grant was loved by his generation for ending the Civil War, but he also experienced bankruptcy. The Grants illustrate for us the importance of commitment in marriage. It isn’t just true for Ulysses and Julia Grant; it is true of any successful marriage.
Commitment isn’t important in marriage; it is indispensable. I have no clue how many weddings I have officiated at through the years. They were all different, but every wedding is exciting. It is my experience; weddings are well organized and expensive.
Did you know the average American wedding costs $27,000? Your wedding day is a great day, but marriage is not about a day, it is about the rest of your life. I never knew what the future held for the loving couple, but I did know this: Life is never just black and white, life is a million shades of gray. Together, they would experience the best life had to offer but they would also experience some challenging moments. There may be days that the only thing they have is one another. Commitment isn’t important in marriage; it is indispensable. The first ingredient that is needed in a successful marriage is commitment.
The second ingredient needed in a successful marriage is communication. I love the story of Broadway producer Jed Harris (1900-1972). At one point in his life, he became convinced he was losing his hearing. He visited a specialist, who pulled out a gold watch and asked, “Can you hear this ticking?” “Of course,” Harris replied. The specialist walked to the door and asked the question again. Harris concentrated and said, “Yes, I can hear it clearly.” Then the doctor walked into the next room and repeated the question a third time. A third time Harris said he could hear the ticking. “Mr. Harris,” the doctor concluded, “there is nothing wrong with your hearing. You just don’t listen.” Do you have anyone in your life who can hear perfectly, but they just don’t listen? There is a lot of that going on in our time.
People have busy schedules. We live life at a fast pace. Our ears are always busy. How many people or things demand your attention in a single day? Just think about it for a moment. The one thing you have not heard lately is silence. If you have a job, then you must listen to your boss. If you have children, you must listen to them. You must listen to your children’s teachers. If you work in a store you must listen to the customers. The air is always filled with a wide variety of music that offers background noise. Have you listened to the news lately? Have you heard your phone ringing lately? Have you heard any political advertisements lately? You are even forced to listen to the preacher. Do I have to go on? Our world is filled with all kinds of sounds. Could it be you have grown tired of listening? Do you hunger for silence? Do your ears work perfectly, but you don’t listen? It is important to listen to your spouse. The second ingredient needed in a successful marriage is communication.
The third ingredient needed in a successful marriage is common core values. History tells us the body of missionary David Livingstone (1813-1873) is buried in his native England, but his heart is buried in the land that he loved, Africa. This is my question for you. Where is your heart?
Sociologists tell us we build our lives on our core values. Those are the values we hold closest to our heart. Your core values affect the way that you spend your money. Your core values affect the way that you spend your time. Your core values affect the way that you handle your relationships. What do you hold closest to your heart? Do you hold your spouse close to your heart? Do you hold your children close to your heart? Do you hold your family close to your heart? Do you hold your home close to your heart? Do you hold Jesus close to your heart? Don’t answer that last question too quickly. I am not talking about your church. There are many fine churches in our world. I am not talking about your denomination. It really doesn’t matter what flavor of Christianity is your choice, Methodism, Baptist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Pentecostal, Orthodox or Roman Catholic. I am talking about Jesus. Do you hold Jesus close to your heart? How close do you hold Jesus to your heart? He is the one who died on the cross for your sins, not your local congregation or favorite denomination. Does your spouse hold Jesus close to their heart? Sharing common core values is important. The third ingredient needed in a successful marriage is common core values.
The topic is marriage. Between 1 Peter 2:13 and 3:7, Peter touches on the very heart of Christian ethics. The words seem foreign to our world but not to Peter’s world. He addresses the various relationships found within the early church. There is the relationship between citizens and their government. There is the relationship between slaves and masters. There is the relationship between Christian husbands and Christian wives. The word that links those various relations is “submission.” Jesus was the ultimate example of submission. (1 Peter 2:21-25) It has been a reciprocal ethic. It is an ethic that draws on balance. The responsibility never falls on one individual or group. It is shared by every individual or group. In marriage the responsibility is shared equally by the couple. You see the balance in 1 Peter 3:1-7. Peter addresses the responsibilities of Christian wives in 1 Peter 3:1-5. Peter addresses the responsibilities of Christian husbands in 1 Peter 3:6-7. If you examine your marriage, what do you find? Do you find your marriage in balance or out of balance? C. S. Lewis (1898-1963) once said, “When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.”
The topic is marriage. As I prepared to write this blog I came across a mountain of random statistics and fun facts. I found them entertaining, and I hope you do too. Let me just give you a few.
Did you know January and February are tied for the least popular months to get married?
Did you know on average there are 6,200 weddings every day in America?
Did you know in New Hampshire with parental permission a female at age 13 and a male at age 14 can marry?
Did you know Kentucky state law prohibits a man from marrying his ex-wife’s grandmother?
Did you know over 80% of all married men, regardless of age, say their wife is good-looking.
Did you know the most married person in history was probably King Mongut of Siam, the monarch in “The King and I?” He had 9,000 wives and concubines.
Did you know 60% of American couples describe their marriage as very happy?
Did you know in colonial days, a Boston sea captain named Kemble was sentenced to spend two hours in the stocks for kissing his wife in public on Sunday, the day he returned from three years at sea?
Did you know every day, 175 Americans aged 65 or older get married?
Did you know over 90% of American couples remain sexually faithful to their spouse after marriage?
Did you know 75% of American couples say divorce is not likely at all?
Did you know 75% of married people say their spouse is their best friend?
Did you know 80% of American couples say they would marry the same person if they had to do it over again?
I found that list of statistics and facts on the internet, so I hope they are true.
The topic is marriage. On May 27 Kathryn and I celebrated our thirty-sixth wedding anniversary. Through the eyes of the young that is a long time. In my years of church work I know many couples who have been married longer. I learned years ago the secret is not finding someone you can live with, the secret is finding that person you cannot live without. Our thirty-six years together have gone quickly. We fear being in this world alone. Years ago, I came across the ingredients of a successful marriage. I do not know where they originated, but I think they hold true.
The first ingredient that is needed in a successful marriage is commitment. During his courtship with a young woman named Julia Dent (1826-1902), Ulysses S. Grant (1822-1885) once took her out for a buggy ride. Coming to a flooded creek spanned by a flimsy bridge, Grant assured Julia that it was safe to cross. “Don’t be frightened,” he said. “I’ll look after you.” “Well,” replied Julia, “I shall cling to you whatever happens.” True to her word, she clung tightly to Grant’s arm as they drove safely across. Grant drove on in thoughtful silence for a few minutes, then cleared his throat and said, “Julia, you said back there that you would cling to me whatever happened. Would you like to cling to me for the rest of our lives?” She would, and they were married on August 22, 1848. In their marriage they experienced the very best and the very worst. Grant was loved by his generation for ending the Civil War, but he also experienced bankruptcy. The Grants illustrate for us the importance of commitment in marriage. It isn’t just true for Ulysses and Julia Grant; it is true of any successful marriage.
Commitment isn’t important in marriage; it is indispensable. I have no clue how many weddings I have officiated at through the years. They were all different, but every wedding is exciting. It is my experience; weddings are well organized and expensive.
Did you know the average American wedding costs $27,000? Your wedding day is a great day, but marriage is not about a day, it is about the rest of your life. I never knew what the future held for the loving couple, but I did know this: Life is never just black and white, life is a million shades of gray. Together, they would experience the best life had to offer but they would also experience some challenging moments. There may be days that the only thing they have is one another. Commitment isn’t important in marriage; it is indispensable. The first ingredient that is needed in a successful marriage is commitment.
The second ingredient needed in a successful marriage is communication. I love the story of Broadway producer Jed Harris (1900-1972). At one point in his life, he became convinced he was losing his hearing. He visited a specialist, who pulled out a gold watch and asked, “Can you hear this ticking?” “Of course,” Harris replied. The specialist walked to the door and asked the question again. Harris concentrated and said, “Yes, I can hear it clearly.” Then the doctor walked into the next room and repeated the question a third time. A third time Harris said he could hear the ticking. “Mr. Harris,” the doctor concluded, “there is nothing wrong with your hearing. You just don’t listen.” Do you have anyone in your life who can hear perfectly, but they just don’t listen? There is a lot of that going on in our time.
People have busy schedules. We live life at a fast pace. Our ears are always busy. How many people or things demand your attention in a single day? Just think about it for a moment. The one thing you have not heard lately is silence. If you have a job, then you must listen to your boss. If you have children, you must listen to them. You must listen to your children’s teachers. If you work in a store you must listen to the customers. The air is always filled with a wide variety of music that offers background noise. Have you listened to the news lately? Have you heard your phone ringing lately? Have you heard any political advertisements lately? You are even forced to listen to the preacher. Do I have to go on? Our world is filled with all kinds of sounds. Could it be you have grown tired of listening? Do you hunger for silence? Do your ears work perfectly, but you don’t listen? It is important to listen to your spouse. The second ingredient needed in a successful marriage is communication.
The third ingredient needed in a successful marriage is common core values. History tells us the body of missionary David Livingstone (1813-1873) is buried in his native England, but his heart is buried in the land that he loved, Africa. This is my question for you. Where is your heart?
Sociologists tell us we build our lives on our core values. Those are the values we hold closest to our heart. Your core values affect the way that you spend your money. Your core values affect the way that you spend your time. Your core values affect the way that you handle your relationships. What do you hold closest to your heart? Do you hold your spouse close to your heart? Do you hold your children close to your heart? Do you hold your family close to your heart? Do you hold your home close to your heart? Do you hold Jesus close to your heart? Don’t answer that last question too quickly. I am not talking about your church. There are many fine churches in our world. I am not talking about your denomination. It really doesn’t matter what flavor of Christianity is your choice, Methodism, Baptist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Pentecostal, Orthodox or Roman Catholic. I am talking about Jesus. Do you hold Jesus close to your heart? How close do you hold Jesus to your heart? He is the one who died on the cross for your sins, not your local congregation or favorite denomination. Does your spouse hold Jesus close to their heart? Sharing common core values is important. The third ingredient needed in a successful marriage is common core values.
The topic is marriage. Between 1 Peter 2:13 and 3:7, Peter touches on the very heart of Christian ethics. The words seem foreign to our world but not to Peter’s world. He addresses the various relationships found within the early church. There is the relationship between citizens and their government. There is the relationship between slaves and masters. There is the relationship between Christian husbands and Christian wives. The word that links those various relations is “submission.” Jesus was the ultimate example of submission. (1 Peter 2:21-25) It has been a reciprocal ethic. It is an ethic that draws on balance. The responsibility never falls on one individual or group. It is shared by every individual or group. In marriage the responsibility is shared equally by the couple. You see the balance in 1 Peter 3:1-7. Peter addresses the responsibilities of Christian wives in 1 Peter 3:1-5. Peter addresses the responsibilities of Christian husbands in 1 Peter 3:6-7. If you examine your marriage, what do you find? Do you find your marriage in balance or out of balance? C. S. Lewis (1898-1963) once said, “When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.”
Russ Adams 